Havasu

Mike went to Lake Havasu twice in March for some much needed R&R.

The first trip was with his two besties- his dad and Patrick.  I was super excited for him to get outa town with these two.  He has been wanting to do a weekend fishing trip forEVER, but with kids, work, ailments, etc...life just happens...and sometimes it really gets in the way.

Since I have NO idea what they did on their trip, I will just post pictures for our family journal.

Looks like someone found Mike's camera (phone?) lying around...and had some fun.  These pictures made me crack up when I found them.

I'm so glad these guys are best friends.  And I'm so glad they make the time to make memories together.  Life is too short not to have some fun together...minus the wife and kids.

A couple of weeks later, Mike went to Havasu with a friend from work. They left very early Saturday morning and camped there until Monday afternoon.  Both Tim and Mike seemed to have a great time...except for that very first, very windy day.

I sent chili and stew for Mike and Tim to eat for dinner Saturday and Sunday night.  Mike knows I get nervous about cooking food we love to eat for other people...just in case it didn't turn out...or something.  So they sent pictures both nights of each of them enjoying their warm food.  This might be the first trip Mike actually agreed to let me send food with him.  He usually just wants to take stuff to make sandwiches.  I always want to send food to make a hot meal...so after fishing all day they can have something warm and filling to eat.  Maybe now he will agree to let me when he goes.

I love that Mike has a hobby he loves.  I wish he was able to get out there more often, but I know as Blip gets bigger they will be out on the boat a lot together.  I can't wait for that...for more than one reason. haha

Long Legs

The swing/slide thingy I found...and thought would be just perfect pretty much is.  Or at least it would be if my son didn't have such long legs.  He is the perfect age and weight, but his long legs will definitely shorten the life span of the swing usage.  Not to mention he is used to the swings at the park....he likes to go high and fast, so this little swing barely got a smile.

Since we were able to acquire the majority of the "new" stuff for the backyard for very little money, we decided maybe we should look for the next size up swing/slide thingy.  Not quite a swing set, but something a little bigger.  So I went back to Craigslist and found what we were thinking of.  It had been posted a while (which is ow I knew it existed), so the price had come down quite a bit.

Mike called the sellers and made an appointment to go look at it/pick it up after work on Monday night.  It's in great shape...and for $150, too!!  The new version of what we got is $599 plus shipping, so we are happy with our great find (again).

This should last us until we are ready to get serious about a swing set...and hopefully we can buy that in several years for Blip AND his sibling(s).  The backyard is officially Blip's...

We are having the additional pool fencing installed in two weeks.  the turtles need to find a new home before then because I think we are having half of the patio fencing removed and hauled off.  Not sure I'm ready for all that, but we aren't sure what else to do at this point.

I was remembering when we first moved in to this house...Mike and I talked about what we wanted our backyard to be some day.  My vision included a swing set, a sand box, and lots of noise...kids stuff strewn about. *happy sigh*  His vision- a manly man's yard...built in bbq, a few other fun items, but NO kid's toys.  And a sandbox and a swing set were 100% off limits.  I laughed and let it go back then.  I knew he would change his mind.  His smiles are usually even bigger than Blip's.

I sure do love my boys.

Lil Miss Miller

My sweet friend Natalie has been pregnant for what seems like forever.  We've known since 10 days after her embryo transfer that we'd welcome at least one Baby Miller into the world in 2013.  Natty has waited so long for the day she would deliver a healthy baby, her own flesh and blood. 

She was a lot like me in her 20's.  Single, traveling the world, working to establish her successful business, looking for Mr. Right...ya know...the important stuff.  After finally finding him...in the strangest of places (I might add), she became his wife.  And the most amazing mother to two of his amazing children.  I will even go as far to say that if you can't be raised by your own biological mother, Natty is the best one to be her back-up.

Natty has created an amazing little family...from what some would have pictured as impossible.  And after a terrible loss, she was finally pregnant with a little pinch of assistance from my favorite doctor...Dr. Behera.

Knowing you are pregnant the ENTIRE time is rough.  And until Natalie reached a certain point, I'm not sure she allowed herself to truly embrace her pregnancy.  I don't blame her.  Losing a baby the way Natty did would break anyone's soul into pieces.  She is incredible, though...so she put herself back together and pushed forward.  Wanting....longing to carry and deliver a baby of her very own.  To add an amazing piece to the Miller family.

It was a long process to get to pregnancy, and even though I had been in her shoes (for the most part), it was gut wrenching to watch her struggle.  Month after negative month.  It seemed so unfair.  Why someone would so easily conceive, lose that baby to a rare disorder, only to not be able to conceive?  At least on her own.  

I'm not sure what it is about infertility, but as much as it hurts...I am thankful for what it taught me.  I'm thankful for Western Medicine...I'm thankful for a supportive husband.  I'm so grateful I found an amazing doctor...and I have been able to send many, many deserving couples to her with much success.

As the end of Natty's pregnancy was inching closer and closer, it was so fun to see her happiness radiate from her body.  She looked absolutely amazing her entire pregnancy.  She is beautiful to begin with, so add in a gorgeous baby bump...and the rest of us can't hold a candle to her.  Not one stretch mark.  Beautiful olive colored skin.  Dark eyes.  Dark, long, beautiful hair.  And what's the topper?  Her innocence.  Her grace.  Her love for others.  Her genuinely sweet and pleasing personality.  She is the woman all mothers should hope their sons find in someone when they choose a mate.

I was lucky enough to be asked to be there when the time came for our Lil Miss to arrive.  Natalie was with me when Blip joined the party...she took some amazing birth photos for me.  Having her there with me made that special day so complete.  I was honored to be asked, and then I was terrified.  She...the most amazing photographer I've ever seen...asked me to be the one in charge of taking photos. 

WHAT!?  

At first I didn't panic.

Then I started laying in bed at night thinking about it.  About how much the birth pictures she took of Blip's birth mean to me. About how I have no idea how to take good pictures....let alone amazing pictures.  I absolutely LOVE photography, but I suck at it.  I need more than a lesson.  I need the whole school!!  I started to freak out a little more each time I thought about it, so I finally called and asked her to give me a little lesson.

She laughed at me...and assured me I would be fine.  She said she could edit or fix anything she needed to...just take a bunch of pictures, and we'd figure it out.  Then I thought I would buy a flash for my camera so I could practice on my own.  I had NO idea how expensive those suckers are! (Although now I am saving to buy one...and some lessons.  And a Photoshop class, too.)  I decided money was a little too tight to splurge on a camera flash...plus I had time to work on it.  So I read tutorials, watched some stuff on youtube, and looked at her pictures over and over.  Hoping something would seep in...and when the time came...I would be good.  Not great.  Just good.  Just okay.  That's what I was aiming for...okay.

When Erin called to tell me Natty's water broke last Saturday night/Sunday morning, I was ecstatic!  And then I remembered what my duties were.  Damn.  I wasn't sure I actually wanted her to have the baby yet...I hadn't done enough preparing.  I was supposed to have another 3 weeks!  And then she called me.  Her voice was warm...and a little excited.  And a little nervous.  All my fears were gone the second I heard her.

I got the initial call around 1am.  I was getting ready to head up to bed when the phone rang.  Erin and I were giddy on the phone for about 30 minutes.  I decided I was going to try and sleep for a few hours before heading to the hospital.  I was trying to remember all the stages and timing of my labor.  I knew unless she was freakishly fast...we wouldn't have a baby for many, many hours.  And I also knew that if I didn't get some sleep I would feel like death by the time Lil Miss arrived.

I took a shower and went to bed until 6am.  I got up and got ready after an update saying Natty was dilated to a 4.  After that...I was too excited to sleep.  And I was nervous that I, the photographer, would miss the main event.  I arrived at the hospital before 8am.  The epidural was in and life was good.

After a few hours, she was checked and rechecked by her nurse (who also happens to be her sister Tera...who was also one of my nurses) and by her doctor.  Her contractions had been consistent for nearly two hours, so her doctor was a little concerned that her body had not progressed at all.  This is the moment I sat up and took notice of her doctor, Dr. Apigo.  

I was impressed with her from that moment on.  She explained to Natalie that she would let her labor for another hour, but if she had not progressed it would be time for a c-section.  After the doctor left, Natty received a blessing, and then we were all asked to wait in the waiting room for a bit so Natty could rest.  Everyone (except Deron) begrudgingly made their way down the hall, out the double doors...and to the waiting room.  Not one of us wanted to miss a thing, but what the hell do we know about labor and delivery? We know to do what they ask...and what Natalie needed was what we were going to do.

A couple of hours passed (and I was so thankful for my iPad!)...and we all were dying to know what was happening back in that room. :)  We got little updates from Tera and from Deron, too.  We knew she progressed a teensy bit in that first hour, so the doctor let her continue to labor.  

We also got a good update from the doctor a while after that.  She stopped and explained that Natalie is a "pleaser".  So with everyone in the room...it was a bit much to relax and let her body work.  She was tense...and needed to rest and relax.  With everyone out of the room, she was able to do what her body needed.  And in turn, her body did exactly what it was supposed to do.  She progressed quite quickly after that...although out in that waiting room "quickly" felt like about 12 lifetimes. 

(This is why I was impressed.  There was no rush or push for the c-section...she allowed nature some time...saving Natty from having to have a c-section. The doctor herself also spent HOURS in that delivery room.  She did so much work to help Natty's body...all the work my nurses did. My doctor (the on-call guy...not my actual doctor) was in and out in 12 minutes flat. He barely took a picture with us.)

After those 12 lifetimes passed, we were invited back.  We were all ladies, but I'm pretty sure we wanted to shove each other out of the way and make a run for the door...just to get there a second or two faster.  

Natalie worked hard.  And I have to say...witnessing Richelle give birth to Carsen and Jake were two of the best moments of my entire life.  Giving birth to Blip was THE most amazing moment...and the most awesome thing I've ever done.  Witnessing Natalie give birth AFTER I had delivered my own child was super special.  All the things that were said to me when I was in labor now made sense...and it all seemed so much clearer and easier to understand.  I understood her exhaustion.  I understood her desire to be done. I understood how hard pushing really is.  I understood her fear.

At one point, while she was resting in between contractions the doctor asked me to take a picture to show Natalie how great she was doing...and how much of Lil Miss we could see....how truly close she was to holding her sweet baby.  I did as I was asked (whew...that picture turned out good enough for Natalie to see her progression....whew!), and Natalie studied the picture for a few seconds before she laid her tired body back on the bed.  

Tears streamed down her face as she let her fears out.  She sobbed, "What if I'm not a good mother?" There were a few other things she asked or said out loud, but we almost laughed...almost.  If anyone has proven they are an amazing mother BEFORE having a biological child.......Natalie is that person.  She has proven she can raise, nurture, discipline, teach, and love two children that she didn't get until years after they were born.  Not to mention, as a mother I can say that failure is every mother's fear.  And it's a feeling that doesn't go away after giving birth.  It grows from that point...and you learn to tame it.  At least I hope...I hope it doesn't stick around so in-your-face for too long.  But it's there.  And it's a valid fear.

We reassured her that she wouldn't suck at being a mother...and she pushed again.  And again.  She, and Tera, and the doctor worked so hard to deliver that sweet baby safely.  When Natty was nearly exhausted to a point of being done, her sweet baby girl made her entrance into this world.  It was 4:55pm.  And she was beautiful.  That tiny baby was placed on her mother's chest...and we all cried.  Including Lil Miss.  Hearing her sweet cry made my insides beg to be pregnant again.  It was a quiet, loving cry...it was the best sound in the entire world.  

Seeing the look on my friend's beautiful face as she looked over her perfectly healthy baby girl was one of the best moments of my life.  It's a look I will forever carry in my heart. It was the look of complete joy, love, and contentment.  Hearing her baby girl breathe, touching her, feeling her skin against her own...all the things in life that matter.  Finally.  It was the only word I could think of.  It was finally her turn.  She waited so long...finally she held her baby.

They took the baby from Natty to clean her up and weigh her.  She weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces and was 20.5 inches long.  Her coloring was perfect, and she had a ton of black hair.  Deron and Natty decided the name they chose fit her perfectly, so it was decided officially- Nytlee (pronounced "Knightly") Ysabel Miller.

I took pictures until it was my turn to hold her.  I so love that little girl.  She is just perfect.  Beautiful skin color, lots of dark hair...she looks like Natalie.  And like Kyrstin.  She is a good mix of Montez and Miller.

I am so thankful I was allowed to be a part of that special day. It's such a powerful thing...and so full of emotion.  I believe giving birth is one of the most spiritual moments in a person's life.  I love Natty and Deron so very much.  I am thankful for their love and friendship...I am thankful they are a part of my family.

New House

I blogged a few weeks ago about a new Little Tikes climbing slide apparatus we found on Craigslist for Blip.  Well...I'm still currently obsessed with finding Cody some cool stuff that will be age appropriate in the near future.  His baby toys are just about lame, so it's time to find a few things to add to the playroom when the baby toys are moved into boxes for the next baby.

Our wonderful sitter, Gisele, was in the hospital the first week of April.  We had a friend volunteer to help with Blip, so everything worked out.  Our friends, Dave and Laurie, have given us numerous boxes full of toys their little ones have grown out of.  When I went to pick up the baby the day they kept him, they started naming off items they wanted us to take off their hands. Their kiddos had outgrown them, so they were ready for new homes.

We ended up with some amazing new (to us) stuff!!  They gave Blip a Little Tikes playhouse...it's the perfect size for the playroom.  They also gave Blip a little Cozy Coupe with a super cool steering wheel that has tons of buttons that makes different sounds. So now we can keep the truck inside and the car outside. We also ended up with their Little Tikes picnic table!  I was so excited to get one of these...and now I'm so glad I hadn't gotten overly excited and ordered one.  All of their stuff is like new.

And Blip LOVES all of his new stuff.  He loves the playhouse.  Especially the doorbell.  He loves to stand inside or outside and ring it.  Over and over. He also LOVES the Cozy Coupe outside.  He loves to ride around in it...and even figured out how to keep his feet up so they don't drag.  He isn't quite big enough for the picnic table (or the big climbing, sliding apparatus), but I'm sure he will grow into them soon enough.

SO...while all this is going on...I am still obsessing over a few little things I want for the boy.  Richelle was able to score us a "Koala Climber" from a client of hers who was getting rid of it.  She brought it over a few months ago...and we have climbed and slid hundreds of times, but it was still a bit too big/too much for Blip.  We knew he'd grow into it, tho.  It was basically brand new...always kept in doors, so the colors weren't even faded.

I wanted to hang a baby swing from the patio since Blip loves to swing so much.  With the way the pool fence in currently installed there's no way to do that, so I started looking at other options.  I found a climber/slide/swing combo contraption that Little Tikes made...for about $130.  I'm cheap, so I refuse to pay that much. I found a few on Craigslist...and bought one for $60.  It needed new buckles for the swing, but they were only about $3 from Little Tikes.  I sold the Koala Climber for $50 in about 10 minutes, so really the new slide/swing thingy only cost us about $10.

I love all our new, fun stuff to do out back!!

Polyp

Mike was due for his every-other-year day of fun this Spring...his colonoscopy.  I called and scheduled his consultation with Dr. Amin, so Mike could get his colonoscopy over and done with...and so that Mike could talk to Dr. A about the horrid reflux he's been suffering with for months.

Dr. A and Mike discussed both things, and they decided to scope both ends at the same time to see what was goin' on.  Mike was not thrilled, but hey...better than dying, right?

Mike's appointment was for April 1st.  That happened to be a city holiday for us, so I was forced off and it was Mike's regular Monday "N" day. (That's what our days off our called.)  That worked out great since I wouldn't have to take any time off to take him.  I arranged with Regina to keep Blip again.  She kept him last year while I had mine...and it worked out perfect.  We live so far that she doesn't get to snuggle with my baby too often, and I want Blip to know her...so I will drop him off anytime for a play date with Aunt Regina.

Mike wasn't back much longer than he would have been for just the colonoscopy.  So about 30 minutes after I was asked to wait in the waiting room, a nurse came to get me.  I don't know why, but I was really nervous.  I'm never nervous for my own, and I have never been nervous for anyone else's routine colonoscopies...but I was anxious while Mike was back there.

I do know I was anxious about Mike having pre-cancerous polyps again.  And as soon as I was back with Mike...I asked the question.  I was right to be anxious. He had another one.  This time it was a "large" polyp...and according to Dr. A it was "definitely pre-cancerous".  

Talk about taking the wind out of your sails.  I know finding those little bastards and removing them is the whole point, but I don't want Mike to have them.  Any of them.  Ever.  I don't want to constantly wonder...and worry.  And be anxious...and hope it wasn't too fast growing or that it can't be removed during the colonoscopy. 

Dr. A removed one polyp.  It was 8mm...and it looked completely different from his last two polyps.  The polyps removed during Mike's last colonoscopy were small and looked a lot like a chicken pock.  Just a little red bump.  This year the polyp was much larger and looked like a bulb.

I am so thankful it's gone.  Out of there so it can't cause any torture down the road.  I just have to shake my head that Mike and I procreated...and plan to do it again.

Dr. A believes with the (very small) amount of knowledge we have about Mike's family history that his family may also have Lynch Syndrome (HNPCC).  Dr. A and I agreed (because Mike was still sleeping) that we would treat Mike as if he had tested positive for HNPCC.  He will continue to have colonoscopies ever other year unless he needs to have one every year at some point.

My family operates under the assumption we have HNPCC, too.  We have quite a bit more family history to go off of, so that's just how we operate.  It's the safest way to do it.  We have done so since my mom died.  

Here's the crappy part.  If you have HNPCC, you have a 60-80% higher chance of getting colon cancer.  The average person has a 3-4% chance.  So what percentage do our children get?  All Dr. A said was, "Much higher."  Dang it.  We laughed about Dr. A being around when Blip is old enough...it's funny, but really...it's not.  I don't want my kids to have to do this.  Hopefully there will be some new magical way of testing by that point.

photo: http://www2.mdanderson.org/app/pe/index.cfm?pageName=opendoc&docid=2133

Mike's upper GI revealed a Hiatal Hernia.  Dr. A said they were common and would most likely not require surgery.  He prescribed Mike some meds to help with the discomfort and to help Mike's ulcerated esophagitis.  Dr. A said that what Mike had going on should be causing him quite a bit of pain, so that was his first item on the list of things to take care of.  Dr. A wants to see Mike back in a few months to go over everything and to see how Mike has heeled with the meds.  He will more than likely be on meds to control this indefinitely.

We left the office and went to pick up our sweet baby boy.  He had fun playing with Regina...he got to help her clean the house.  I'm sure he was just happy for the change of scenery, and for her hugs and kisses.  I'm so thankful for my supportive and always helpful family.

This isn't something we worry every. single. day. about, but it is something we MUST think about.  We must deal with this.  We must remain proactive.  We must continue to reach out to others to make sure people are educated about this awful disease.  I wish this wasn't something we had to advocate for, but this is so close to our hearts.  It's something we are passionate about.  It's something we will never blow off.  Just look at the statistics...anyone not willing to do what's necessary when they KNOW they have family history will eventually pay the price.  And paying with my life is not something I'm willing to do.